:) one month of Geron posting finally come to an end! As much as I wish for holiday to come, I would really miss working in ward 64, the nice ward staff, all the cute ah mas that I took care of :) and those ite students I met :)

Geron was indeed what I always wanted :) indeed, things happened for a reason. I wasn't able to fulfill my dream of germany attachment, but i had a great learning experience here. I have so much clearer picture of nursing, and life.

I met some nurses who advised me to give up. The way they treated patients grumpily, I thought, will I be like them one day? Tired of all those paper work, of all those annoying call bells and patients, of the nags from seniors or sister, of not getting the leave you planned, of all the back stabbing from colleagues. I hope I can survive another 20 yrs in nursing, but seriously, how far can passion bring me...

Nursing a 99yrs old grandma, I understand the true meaning of job satisfaction. Convincing a patient who doesn't eat well to eat and feeling happy when they ate more than they could. Having her to hold my hands and cried that she want me when I told her I won't be seeing with her anymore. Lending a listening ear to her, when she told me that I sayang her more than her ignorant daughter do. I really love her and she assured me that I love Geron more than anything else:)

And i really have greater appreciation of life, of my family and the people around me. Nursing that annoying bed 8, who kpo in everything I do to the patient beside her, who lecture me everytime I take her bp! Although she always drive me to my tethers end, I pity her. how would u feel if every movement u made is painful cos u r at the last stage of cancer, yet, you don't have anyone to rely on? What's in your mind, if you have to scold people to pretend you are strong? What i've learned is, we really have to spend our time wisely. We cannot go back into the past to undo the things we have done, and we won't know everything that may happen in the future as the world is constantly changing. But there's one moment of time which we have some conscious control, the present :)

Throughout this Geron posting, I keep thinking of dad. I saw his shadow in many male patients, lost and weak, regrets and hopelessness all written in the face. Ive learned that, many of us go thru life without a clear idea of what is the purpose of our existence. This become a problem as we grow older and closer to death cos we become more dependent on others. We really have to find out why are we here:)

Life's really like a battlefield, we always have to make decision of what is worth fighting and what isn't. I don't have much time to waste anymore... All I want now, is to be with the people I want to be with, go to the place I want to go, and do the things I want to do! :))))))

Omg, such a long post. pen off now:)
I'll miss u, short girl hamtaro:)
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