suddenly have the urge to blog down my thoughts.
happy, fear, disappointment, guilt, sadness.
different emotions all swirled within me.
happy?because exam are over. seri got us a pretty cool job. and i got a dinner treats from a nice big bro.
fear disappointment guilt sadness?

the fear of losing things that are important to me. the disappointment in myself and guiltiness for not taking care of him well. considering how much he has changed, it's terrible. he was the active one which i called him summer, a big eater, fat and bubbly. but now... i finally understand what a parent will experience when they see their ill child in pain. i'm really really sad.
it's not the first time i cried like that for a terrapin. mum and grandma hate this, sis finds this stupid. but i'm emotional. i'm always like that.
seriously, do they understand.
i'm so afraid. really afraid of what the doctor will say tomorrow. truly hope summer will be fine, i will sayang them when i wake up every morning, when i get home, when i bath, when i study, before i leave house, before i sleep. what can i do during all this time without them...
the feeling is just like last time, the intense fear, knowing that i'm gonna lose him.
.
sorry for the long wordy and emotional post. i'm sure week end will be better.
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