today after chem lesson went vivo to watched Doomsday with huiyi, juan, yilun, kanghao, dhil and liuyan. shopped around vivo and took some pictures (: had great time !
had our presentation on stormwater project today. considered successful.
CCA fair ! i joined three ccas, leo club, community service club and welfare service club. all community service one ! hahaahah ! and my laptop giving me problems again ):
WTF ! need to reclone again !!!!! argh !
met WX today .

hais, felt really helpless when i saw him moaning breathlessly in pain again ): my greatest wish is that god would take him away instead of making him suffer. i really wish he'll leave happily )': i love dad so much but what can i do for him.
please, take him away
im ready
)': its my last day working with ricco today ): she's going back to KL in a few weeks time. very sad, yet happy for her because she's going pursue her dream. did this pretty thing for her.

and vicki resigned too ): did something sweet for her too.

i will really miss ricco and vicki much ): they brought so much joy to oshkosh. and whenever im upset i'll tell them my troubles. now only left with yus who will see handsomes and laugh with me. hais...
anyway, i think my artworks are really beautiful. hahahah !
i love myself because im creative.
:D yesterday friday night


went vivo with them. joren teached wanxian poa and yuan teached me chem. after revision had no transport home so we fool around outside vivo . WX teached us hiphop dance, HAHAHAH ! really had fun with them . took NR and reached home very late again, all were like so damn tired..

today (:

went to do some cleaning up for the old folks living at redhill. got to know some really good people who have the same interest as me.

life is so meaningful (: had our first presentation on skeletal structure today (:
turned out to be better than expected because liuyan was not with us for presentation so only me and huiyi. was nervous but huiyi keep encouraging me that we can do it and so we did it (: beginning to get use to poly life. but still, im like a totally different person when im in school and outside..

in a good mood today because ITS FRIDAY NIGHT ! besties day (: had my first chem practical today and i felt more motivated because i understand today's lesson (: so happy HAHAHA !
had the best time of the day after school !!!! met besties out !!! :D
really happy. we had our dinner at causeway point.
after dinner went to causeway mcdonal, my first work place when i was sec two. really had so much so much memories there. now i dont know any crew there except kongfoong auntie and surprisingly she remembered me (:
we spent 3 bucks to do this sketch. quality was bad but it was the process that matters (: really damn fun cos we have to squeeze like mad in the picture .




on our way to civil centre, really had fun bullying wanxian by pulling her to the fountain, that moment really laughed till my face cramp. hahahah ! took lots of pictures using glad's laptop and here are some (:




took bus home with yuan. on our journey, i poured out my grievance to him. seriously felt so much better. blessed to have this friend by my side. someone i can tell everything and anything that i have been keeping in my heart for years. someone who understands my fears and listens with his heart. love bestie so much ! my eyes hurt at the sight of him . argh >:(

really headache ): i hate school so much. i hate lectures. i feel like i'm so not myself in school . i thought i would be like last time, love school and lessons. but now i have no motivation to study at all. sometimes i wonder why am i doing all this. going to school is like a burden. if only i could choose nursing, i will never feel this way ): what should i do .
but tomorrow will be a good day that i'll look forward to (:

dark chocolates and chocolate icecream ! its the best way to distress :D im really gaining weights because of him. ahh , thanks J ! you know me best ! HAHAHAA !
nothing ever changes. we'll always be best friend. YESTERDAY after school met yiyuan joren gladys and wanxian. we had subway feast at vivo (:




after dinner went cafe to study. they tried their best to teach me chem. but still cant make it ): hais. was really stress but they cheered me up.


they were so obsessed in their accounts and im so stress about my chem . studied and studied, end up we didnt manage to catch the last bus and train. took night rider home and we had a really really really great photo taking session in the bus. reached home so late. was so damn happy with them yet restless ):

TODAY met joren gladys and wanxian again(: while waiting for joren we went PHS ! i really miss life in phs, mrs tan and all teachers. i swear secondary school life is the best part of my life. how is wish poly can be like that too ):




the toilet at level one was still as smelly as before



friends yet like sisters.

then we headed to east coast park to cycle for two hours. dashed here and there, wa, butt really cramp.




then we took bus to old changi road for dinner. missed the fun in yiyuan sister's birthday celebration and went home to do research for my project, hais. with them, i hope time would just stop for us. after we walked our own ways, chemistry projects presentation and everything troubled me again. hais.
work tmr. really sian. i'm desperately seeking for a better life in another world. i feel like i dont belong to the course, i'm not interested and i dont understand at all... so many reasons ): there's too much to handle.
dad, his my motivation, three years i will preserve. all for him.

thanks gladys joren yuan for teaching me chem.
and especially thanks to my lovely cuzz, jessie. appreciate her help so much so much so much had no lessons on wed. so i went swimming yesterday ! felt so great (:

ITS THE THIRD DAY OF SCHOOL.
and i'm really dying ): met group members to do project in the morning and then went for lesson. chemistry's seriously making me mad ): had my first geomatics lesson today, finally i found something interesting that worth hanging on. hais. i really feel like giving up .
after school met WX !!!! cheered up :D i love her !

didnt sleep well last few nights. bad dreams haunt me again ): or should i say good. anyway, better never to have met you in my dreams than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
): for some reason, i just cant figure out why i couldn't move on, why am i still living in the past. SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL !
im really dying already. i dont understand a single thing in chemistry. maths questions are not as easy as sec sch ): i cant cope at all. hais. i'm so lost and i desperately need to find myself back )':
but at least today was better than yesterday. went to vivien's house during the few hours lunchbreak, and after school had a big feast with irene. have been eating way tooooo much.
im so fat and ugly ): FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL !
lessons were boring, maths were difficult, lecture was as dull as ditchwater. i thought i could abandon English language now but we did compo today and i realised my english is still as lousy as last time. i desperately need to improve ! was extremely tired today, couldnt stay awake at all ): hais. seriously i think im going to die in the poly. but things are not as dark as they are painted. at least my friends are good (: hais.

argh.
whenever i see him, i hope that im blind
the sight of him reminds me of a packed of lies filled with broken promise
>:( had a really meaningful day liberating fishes.

my sexy cuzzy (=

spoke to my second aunt on the phone yesterday, everything she said about my mum inspired me to be a better person. and i realised all my relatives are so selfless and kind. they are really perfect people. life is pretty hard for mum. so to show my appreciation, i went art friend with my cousin jiafang today, brought some stuff to make this pretty thing for my mummy (:

i love mum so much and i felt so blessed. what more can i ask for.

starting school tomorrow ! oh dear, im so excited, felt butterflies in my stomach. it's the beginning of a new life. i guess i wont sleep tonight . i went to pray today with jiafang and aunt, pray that life will be great in my new school, with my new classmates and new friend huiyi and all ! :D went for the sp flag day. had a great day knowing my classmates more.
nichole's last day today ! at night met OSHKOSH and BENETTION staff for supper.





i will really miss and love them much (: today's sp amazing race was great because my group won the first prize ! and i got to know my classmates and buddy class more, and BE seniors too, they are actually not as bad as i thought. in fact, they are nice (: cant wait for school reopen !

all jerks smell the same
sorry, i'm enough of liars
and i'm stronger now. first day of orientation. i met my classmates . . . ...
i guess life's gonna be real tough there.
was so embarrassed that i got into the wrong class at first. but still found my class and went through the SPICE training .
im so lost.
environment management and water technology.
not my type.
full of regrets.
where's my future?

i hate it . this feeling sucks.
nothing last forever . our friendship doesn't.
i knew it'll happen .
i knew it all along .
)':
and if it happens again, really, i swear i will never ever forgive . what a disappointment
i totally gave up hoping.

met joren and yuan to orchard today. and we had great day and dinner, seriously was glad that they were with me when i was in despair.


besties you never give a damn
so be it
if it's not meant to be
it wont happen

im so silly yesterday, met joren to town, was raining so heavily so we went border to read. then we headed down to northpoint to meet yiyuan and we had a great time in arcade :D seriously cant wait for this year's o level to end then we'll be going KL together, with my besties ! still months away but my heart felt so numb everytime i thought of that :D

JB TODAY !!!


this picture looks like fake one but it's real and taste really really good ! seriously mad about food and chocolate today!

poly starting soon and everyone going seperate ways ): im so afraid to drift apart with my true friends. i felt a sense of belonging when im with them and i really wish we'll keep our promise and maintain this friendship.
" A best friend listens with her heart, and is always honest with you, even though the truth may not be what you want to hear " skipped the camp .

yesterday had a great april fool day with minli wanxian joren chongzhen bernice gladys grace simin minmin shuyi cass. its our first gathering , so little people turned up in the end ): hais.. but still , we had a great time fooling each other. laughed till belly ache, ate till belly burst .



everything you said and done,
i asked myself,
fact or fiction ?
the past, it was a big lie.

i knew the answer. im lost.
i dont know what should i do at all.
i dont understand a single thing that you're thinking.
prepare to shatter , my precious heart.

i want to be happy
i want to believe
i want to forget
i want to forgive.
i cant.
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