this blog is dying,
so is my heart
where are we now?
the old we,
happy and sweet.
where are we.

i wish you could see how special you are to me
i wish you would feel the same way as i do
i wish you would have happiness everyday
i wish you would not have to worry about anything
i wish you could just take a second look sometimes
i wish so much.. and all i can do, is just continue wishing... I like to see people reunited
I like to see people run to each other
I like the kissing and the crying
I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change
I like the hugging, the bringing together.


the end
of missing someone.




A&E and OT posting was a real eyeopener! so much i've seen in ot i wana share with people (:
.
and finally, completed my last lap. i had a great experience as a real staff nurse in ward76 and i really met many awesome friends, staff. i met some awful patients and some very very encouraging, it helps me understand that there will always be a patient who remind you why u choose to be a nurse. there were despair moments at times when i hid and cried to myself, reaching home late and having to wake up at 5am next morning, skipping lunch or dinner just to complete reports and answer call bells. but i survived through the tough times simply because it was my choice, a choice that my family strongly disagree with. i've really learnt so much valuable lessons about life.






小时候，哭着哭着就笑了
长大候，笑着笑着就哭了

our first night cycling on 1.1.2012.
yishun 925 for dimsum.
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second night cycling today.
sembawang shopping centre for kungfu paradise.

really love staying near my bf (:
oh ya, thank you for the beehoon on my bicycle at 5am! totally cheered my tiring thursday up. To remind you, you are so much more beautiful than you think you are, beautiful in your heart, my bestfriend :) here I am writing out the first entry of 2012
flashing back, 2011 has been a very eventful year, i guess i'm actually gonna miss it alot.
erm, where do i begin ? there's so much to say, so much to reflect on, so much that i have learnt, so much i have seen. it’s a year that i've made many new friends, strengthened some friendships with my classmates and besties, lost many friends, lost some friendships.
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the first 8 months of this year, i found myself finishing up my life in NYP. time wasn't just burnt on fyp and projects, but also, enjoying the joy laughter in tutorials and lectures, outings with my clique. And of cos, the best volunteer trip to chiang rai in march marked the best memories. my resolution for 2011 was to enjoy being with NR0915 to the fullest, yes, i did it (:
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the hardest thing that happened in 2011, was probably, going through awful changes in my past relationship that didn't work out right, and to finally let go after so much of struggling. tears and chaos, i've been through it alone, walking around with a smile, went through patterns of my day as if there's nothing wrong. i'm glad i didn't have to go through it again. but i honestly have no regrets loving and doing any of the things i did, all I feel is sorry that I did it so wrongly.
But but! every ending has a new beginning.....
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I met the best thing that happened in 2011. I know it happened a little quick n sudden, but I wouldn't feel bad to be blissful. Because for once in my life, im truly am. Yup, the best thing was...

yes, gabriel ong baiwan, a best gift from angel. he read my mind, hear my thoughts and see my feelings just perfectly. seriously, although its only few months together, sometimes i feel as if i've known him since long before i was even born♥ i'm pretty sure we are meant for each other. the last few months of 2011, i found myself having hearty smile by myself, looking forward to every morning when i woke up, and his the reason behind it, making me smile with all the messages and surprises, listening to me like a full time bestfriend. i wonder how would my 2011 end without meeting him, i'm so glad i did. i'm really contented with life now. hope that things will stay constantly smooth... (:

talking about 2012 resolution. erm, i wana keep it simple. just to enjoy the things, the feelings, the love and the people that is left in my world, yup, being happy is all i need.

Happy new year. hope it's not the last year. Although sometimes, I think that being a staff nurse wasn't what I thought nursing was. At times, my dream really seems so unclear, but at least i have the littlest clue to guide :)
this angel that a patient made, their compliments or simply just a smile and 'thankyou'. They are the clues that guide me through. I can do it. Happiness is all about finding the inner beauty of every single moment of time with you, or that simple gesture that leaves a smile on your face for the whole day :)

6 years back then in 2005

taken in 2006, in within a year, he grew so much older and weaker.
i really miss him.

Someone once told me, a dead person doesn't have birthday, his not dead. His in my heart, always and forever.

For all the herbal tea that popped out at my door steps.
The doughnuts, with that cute postcard and baby pooh.
Those twelve cupcakes and awfully choc that cheered me up after work:)
All the impressive handmade cards and letters you did.
The beautiful Titus watch and the portable charger.
The keychain with our names on.
All the movies tickets u spent just to fill up the album.
For signing SPF, somehow for some reason.
For all the long fb messages you sent that made me smile heartily.
For listening to my grandmother stories that I've repeated many times as if it's the first time I say, just to entertain me.
And for your patience in queuing so idiotically long to eat bai Mee fen, lao ban tao huey and tpy rojak.
All the ice-creams we had together, although I know u r afraid of gaining weight.
Oh ya, and the bee hoon you hung outside my house at 5 AM for me to eat for lunchtime!
And today, for rushing like a mad cow during that few hours of nights out, just to buy me cup noodles,herbal tea and my fav honey chicken, when I found myself breaking apart today.
And even, for the simplest thing u did, like walking 2 blocks to my home with me every single time we met without fail.
for everything u did for me this few months
I thank you, so much :)
Thank you for being yourself, and accepting who I am.
I love you more and more, not only for what u have done, but for being filial and being sincere to everyone around. For being a bestfriend, and even, like a big brother, a amazingly good boyfriend. I love you for you being YOU, Gabriel ong.

hope u know, how much I appreciate and I will cherish u. I'll end this sweet talk with my favorite picture of the month :) Tonight, I sleep beside the bed where he left. I think of the nights, when he woke me up to do phlegm suctioning. I think of the nights I stroke his forehead for him to sleep. I think of the nights I looked at him till I fell asleep. And it felt real :)
He keeps me here, he keeps me going. Sometimes I ask myself, why do I always give in first in an argument or initiate a talk during a cold war? Why do I bother to talk to a person who ignore me constantly for reasons that I don't know what went wrong?
I'd rather lose an argument to someone than lose someone over an argument. Because, you are someone so important. I wouldn't be bother to apologise, if that someone is just anyone.
It may seems like I don't care and cherish friendship enough like last time anymore, but letting go of my ego is also my way of cherishing, and this is what i've been practicing in kinship and relationship too.

I don't like my apology to be ignore:(
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